MAN….
Let me tell you, April has been one brutal month for both my husband Paul and I. I don’t know if Mercury was in Retrograde or what, but Paul had two crazy accidents this month and both have required me to be his caregiver due to his back being severely injured in each of the instances. With the second freak accident, he fell on some wet wooden outdoor stairs, not only injuring his back but also breaking his ankle in two places, making surgery necessary.
Next, eight screws and a metal plate were attached to his ankle in what seemed like a drive-thru surgery, and before I knew it, I was driving him home from his out-patient surgery while he moaned in pain. Now he must keep weight off his ankle for 6-8 weeks and gets around slowly in a wheel chair while still dealing with continued pain.
We also got some financial news that was really disappointing and though it doesn’t change anything in our day to day life, it really stung. As you probably know, finances are one thing couples tend to argue over, and I ended up getting so angry with my him that I was ready to leave town.
Except he needed me to help him shower, cook his meals, change his bed, dispense his meds, basically, take care of everything because all he can do is pretty much sit or lay down.
So, the self-pity started creeping in… I had thoughts like:
Excuse me, what about my life?
I have my own things to do.
He doesn’t have any idea how hard this is on me.
He doesn’t appreciate all that I do.
I think I might go crazy hearing the TV on for the next 6-8 weeks.
You get the idea!
So, I had to do some serious self-coaching. I reminded myself that when I choose to think self-pitying thoughts, it actually makes me feel worse. Interestingly enough, the definition of self-pity is excessive self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s troubles. Sounds awful, right?!
But I promise you that you can shift your mind away from those self-pitying thoughts. Instead of my pity-party, I started thinking about all that I was grateful for. And, I have so much to be grateful for! It occurred to me that you really can’t feel self-pity and gratitude at the same time.
I started to wonder what the lesson was in all of this because I believe this is one big Earth School and tough times are just part of the curriculum.
Then I asked myself a very important question…
HOW DO I WANT TO FEEL? That’s right, you get to choose how you want to feel. And I want to feel motivated, capable, and energized. By thinking this way, I get such better results from my day.
So let me leave you with these 4 simple steps the next time you are awash in self-pity:
1. Acknowledge that self-pity isn’t making you feel any better and does not serve you in any useful way.
2. Pivot your thoughts from self-pity to what you have to be grateful for.
3. Remember tough times are just part of this life’s curriculum. They help us grow stronger.
4. Ask yourself how you want to feel and then choose some thoughts that help create your desired feelings.
Because I know this much to be true… I want to be someone who has some grit and can muscle through hard times. I don’t want to be someone who feels sorry for themselves. Actually, I would like to remove self-pity from my life altogether. I guess that is what this crazy month of April is trying to teach me.
Are you happy with your current results in life or do you want more? More happiness, more success, and tools to help you use your mind to make your dreams come true? I offer a free 30-minute mini-session so you can experience how Life Coaching can help you in life and in your business. Just email me at: shelle@shellewinkler.com
Leave a Reply